Friday, May 30, 2008

Oprah, stupid and uninspired...again.

So Oprah has gone on a 21-day Vegan cleanse.  She has decided to cut out all animal products, as well as Caffeine, Refined Sugar, Gluten and Alcohol.

the frustration and silliness of our current government and war, of our national obsession with pharmaceuticals, of our uninformed, ignorant and isolationist culture, nothing seems to rankle as much as the vanguard of lifeless talking heads, Oprah, going on about inner consciousness.

Could somebody please direct all the Tolle fans to the fucking philosophy section of the library?  I guess I should explain for those not paying attention:

Oprah has been reading this book by Eckhart Tolle, she has become inspired.  She is still fat.  She wants to stop bouncing back and forth like a child in a demented horizontal blow-up castle between fat and less fat.  She has enlisted the help of yet another in a long line of illustrious culture leaches, Kathy Freston.  This vile NY Times bestselling author has told her to become a "Conscious Eater".  How?  Eliminate the evil foods:  Meat, Gluten, Alcohol, Caffeine; and step into the light of veganhood.  Here is Oprah, getting teary eyed, I assume:  "How can you say you're trying to spiritually evolve, without even a thought about what happens to the animals whose lives are sacrificed in the name of gluttony?"

What, I ask you, dear reader could be more divine?  Oprah completely bypasses her (and her audiences) problem (gluttony) by attributing it to animal raising, killing and eating.  

But the animal thing is at least debatable.  There are stimulating and valid arguments for and against animal husbandry and consumption.  

But Gluten?  This national fad is intolerable.  Gluten (a protein in Wheat, Rye, Barley and Oats) is the key element of the ascendence of our species, Homo Sapien.  The innovation of Gluten cultivation is the single most profound technical discovery in the history of this planet by a species.  Until gluten was cultivated by Homo Sapien, no single species had even come close to dominating the geo-ecological systems of the earth.  

So why is gluten demonized?  

0.3% - 1% of first world populations are Intolerant of Gluten.  These folks hold the genetic remnants of the non-gluten eating neanderthals of western europe.  Gluten intolerance was responsible for many infant mortality cases in europe (evolution at work, sadly) up until very recently.  What has resulted is a small population that suffers from Celiac Disease, a wearing away of the intestinal flora, by gluten.  

Let me repeat - 0.3% - 1% of the population of the first world suffers from gluten intolerance.  

To give some perspective:  the Dutch have the world's lowest incidence of Lactose intolerance, at 1%.  About 12-15% of Europeans, on average, are lactose intolerant, 23% of African American children, 50% of indians, 93% of Chinese, and 100% of Native Americans.  

So why are we tearing Gluten down if the incidence is lower then the lowest national incidence of Lactose intolerance?

Then there is Alcohol, which in study after study has been shown to be a healthful addition to our diets, if we consume an average of only 1 drink/day.  This study shows that alcohol consumption actually slows the onset of dementia.  Consumption of up to 1 serving per day of course, no more.

Caffeine, in moderate portions is also fine.  Green Tea, a darling of the health food quagmire, has anywhere from 25% to 50% the caffeine of Coffee, dependent upon brewing methods.  An intake of up to 100 milligrams of Caffeine per day (an espresso, for instance) is not a problem. 

But Oprah, O dear sweet Oprah.  You don't have a care for any of this.  You are all about master strokes of bland culturalist myopia.  Thank you for your absurd worldview, your stupid mass appeal, and your idiotic 21 day "cleanse".   

I think it is time for my 1 drink of the day.

Be Well. 

1 comment:

Kelley said...

I am so greatful to Eckhart Tolle and Oprah for turning me onto Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor and her beautiful book ""My Stroke of Insight"". Her story is amazing and her gift to all of us is a book purchase away I'm happy to say.

Dr Taylor was a Harvard brain scientist when she had a stroke at age 37. What was amazing was that her left brain was shut down by the stroke - where language and thinking occur - but her right brain was fully functioning. She experienced bliss and nirvana and the way she writes about it (or talks about it in her now famous TED talk) is incredible.

What I took away from Dr. Taylor's book above all, and why I recommend it so highly, is that you don't have to have a stroke or take drugs to find the deep inner peace that she talks about. Her book explains how. ""I want what she's having"", and thanks to this wonderful book, I can! Thank you Dr. Taylor, and thank you Eckhart and Oprah.